Numbing the Pain
by CathGilLove
Summary: Post ep to A Bullet Runs Through It Parts 1 and 2. After not hearing from Jim Brass for awhile, Sofia goes to seek him out.


Title: Numbing the Pain

Author: ANNE (the insane one)

Rating: CSI-3

Summary: After not hearing from Jim Brass for a while, Sofia Curtis goes to seek him out. Post episode to A Bullet Runs Through It

Disclaimer: Characters et al belong to the people that make CSI.

AN: Thanks to Sydne, for all her encouragement and for making me a BS shipper!

As always the Supervisor version is at Terror Twins, Inc

1/1

* * *

It had been a long shift – with one detective down, everyone was pulling together – and she wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep. 

But she was sick of leaving messages and not having them answered. He wasn't answering the phone or his cell and now she was starting to get worried.

So on a rainy night in Vegas, Sofia Curtis found herself standing outside Jim Brass's home. She rapped hard on the door, pulling her coat closer around herself and wishing she had brought an umbrella.

"Jim? Open up!"

No answer.

She gritted her teeth and knocked again. "Jim Brass, if you don't open this door in 1 minute, I'm kicking it down. Don't think I won't!"

Moments later she heard the lock being opened and then a dishevelled Jim Brass was standing in front of her.

"Sofia. Go home."

"Like hell. Come on, Jim, I'm soaked and freezing. Let me in and just let me warm up for a minute. You haven't returned any of my messages."

"And you still didn't get the hint."

He just stared at her. Fed up with trying to negotiate, Sofia pushed past him and into his house. She'd been there before, and was able to navigate herself easily into his living room. She listened as he shut the door and waited for him to come into the room with her.

"What do you want, Sofia?"

Sofia fingered the empty beer bottle beside his favourite chair. "This helping?"

"It does the job."

Her eyes rose to meet his. "Until you sober up, huh? Or are you planning to stay permanently drunk?"

"Are you here to lecture me? Because if you are, you can just leave."

Sofia picked up the bottle and took it into his kitchen. She put it in the trash, trying to ignore the others that had piled up over the past few days. "Where are the rest of them?"

His hand closed over her wrist. "What are you trying to do? I don't need your pity."

She looked at his hand on her wrist, and then looked him in the eyes again. "Let me go, Jim."

He dropped his hand and she turned around, facing him square on.

"Do you think you're the only one affected by Bell's death? Because you may forget, but for a long time there, we thought I had killed him."

"But you didn't."

"I could have." Her hands rested on his chest. "You have to stop this. Drinking yourself into a stupor is not going to help anything. And I won't let you do it."

"You're not my keeper."

"But I'm your partner. You have to let me in."

"Why?"

She smiled sadly. "Because I'm here. If you want me, I'm here."

Jim forced his hands to stand by his side. "What I want, I can't have."

"No one can bring Bell back." Sofia was curious. Something told her that he wasn't talking about Bell.

Jim looked at her for a long, hard moment. She felt warm under his gaze, and she could feel the heat from his body close to hers. She was almost positive that whatever happened next, she was going to end up in bed with Jim Brass. And for some inexplicable reason – she was glad.

Jim's hand rested on her shoulder. "You should go."

Her eyes stood fast. "Make me."

He rubbed his eyes. "Sofia, just go."

"You need a shower. You smell like a drunk. Go and sober up."

"Who the hell are you to come in here and tell me what I should do?"

"I'm your partner. And your friend. And you're too good a man to sit around drinking yourself into a stupor."

Jim was surprised at her pushing him around. "This is my house and…"

"Just do it." Sofia took her jacket off. "I'll wait."

* * *

Jim hadn't realised how crappy he must've looked until he got out of the shower. As he dressed he also remembered that an irate blonde was loose in his house.

This made him uncomfortable.

He walked tentatively out to his living room, confused when he saw it was empty. And free of beer bottles. He took a deep breath. "Sofia?"

"In the kitchen."

When he entered the room, he found Sofia pouring out some coffee. She looked up at him.

"Well you certainly smell better."

"Uh, thank you," he replied, unsure of whether to be insulted or not. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"It looks like you're making coffee in my kitchen."

Sofia handed him the coffee cup. "Congratulations. You haven't drunk away all your brain cells."

"You didn't have to clean up."

"I did if I wanted to sit down somewhere." She walked into his living room again and settled herself on the couch. She took a sip of her coffee and speared him with a look until he sat down on a chair opposite her and sipped at his own.

"Sofia…"

Her eyes rose to look at him. "Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

"The same thing you would have done for me." She smiled. "The same thing you did for me when I thought I had shot Bell."

"But you didn't."

"That doesn't mean I don't still feel upset about it." Sofia sighed and took another sip of her coffee. "Just talk to me. I'm not asking you to go all deep and meaningful on me, but I think you need to talk about it."

"You're not a shrink."

Sofia lifted an eyebrow. "Want me to get you one?"

"You don't need to hear my problems."

"I'd like to all the same."

Jim took a drink from his mug. "You make good coffee."

"Thank you. And don't change the subject."

"I killed a cop."

Sofia stared straight at him. "Yeah, you did."

Jim looked back at her, hearing the truth and compassion in her words. He detested his actions, but he knew he couldn't change them, and he appreciated Sofia's presence. "Yeah, I did." He paused and looked into her blue eyes. "So where do I go from here?"

"You grieve. You try to move on. You live your life."

"Yeah right," he huffed, setting his coffee cup down on the table. "It's easier said than done."

"I never said it was going to be easy."

"No, you didn't."

"But I'm here to help. Or just be here."

"I appreciate that. I really do," he sighed, "I'm just not sure where to go from here."

Sofia stood up. "How about some dinner?"

Knowing she wouldn't give up until he decided to be human again, he took the first step; he reached out and took her hand. Standing, he said, "As long as you're cooking."

Sofia looked at his hand engulfing hers for a moment, and then squeezed it gently. "Yeah, I'll cook."

He followed her willingly into the kitchen, and sat down on one of the kitchen stools. Jim found it fascinating that she had never been in his kitchen before, yet instinctively knew where to find everything.

"How does pasta sound?" she asked, pulling out a packet of pasta he hadn't even known was there. 

"Uh, sure." He watched as she busied herself in his kitchen, looking as if she belonged there. Shaking his head, he tried to get rid of the thought. This was his partner. She was at least ten years younger than he was. She could probably take him out with one hand tied behind her back.

"I hope you've got cheese, because pasta always needs cheese. Preferably parmesan, but we can make do with any." Sofia was rummaging around in his fridge while she waited for the water to boil. He needed normalcy, stability at that moment. He needed someone to be with him – but she wondered how long he'd let her stay.

"You like to cook?"

Sofia turned around to look at him. "Yeah, I do. It's a nice break from chasing bad guys around all day. What about you?"

"I can handle myself in the kitchen." Jim stood up and walked around to stand beside her. "Anything I can do to help?"

She felt his body brush against hers ever so lightly, and she tried to ignore the tingles that began to rise within her. "How about, uh, setting the table?"

"No problem." Jim took the accidental brush of bodies in his stride – she was beautiful, and she felt incredibly soft, but she was off limits. He went to the drawer and started taking out the cutlery, his eyes still watching her. 

Sofia tossed some pasta into the boiling water, well aware of his eyes taking in her form. She liked the thought of Jim watching her – and wondered if it would ever go any further. 

They continued stealing glances at each other as they prepared dinner. When it was ready, Sofia served it up into two plates that she had found in Jim's cupboards. She set them on the table, and turned to find him opening a bottle of wine.

"Is that really a good idea?"

"Not for me, for you. I know you'd kick my ass if I touched alcohol anymore tonight."

She smiled. "You've got that right. But I think I'll stick with water for tonight."

Jim smiled at her. "Okay."

Dinner was quiet but comfortable as they sat together. Both knew that after dinner they had to talk about what had happened with Bell, but for now they were happy to sit together, and just be.

An hour later they sat together on the couch in silence, unsure of where to start. Finally, Sofia turned to him. 

"You have to talk about this sometime, you know."

"Why?"

"Because beating yourself up over it is not going to bring Bell back. And it's not going to make you or the people around you feel any better."

Jim sat back against the couch. "What people? Do you see anyone else around here?"

Sofia sat back beside him. "I'm here."

He turned and looked at her. "Yeah, you are."

"And no matter how much you push me away, I'm not leaving you." She smiled at him. "I can be just as stubborn as you."

"I killed another cop, Sofia. Out of all the stupid things I've done in my life…"

"We were in the middle of a hail of gunfire. We were trying to stay alive, save other lives. I know what it's like out there, Jim. What it's like just to shoot until there's no one shooting back at you. But you have to stop dwelling over this. It'll eat you from the inside, and I don't want to see that happen to you."

"You don't, huh?"

Sofia looked at him sternly. "No, I don't."

He looked at her for a long moment, before he finally reached out his hand and rested it on her cheek. "Sofia…"

She leaned forward, her lips meeting his in a soft kiss. Within seconds it had deepened, the kiss turning insistent and demanding. Jim's fingers trailed down her body, touching tenderly.

"Jim…"

His hand cupped her cheek and they kissed again, long and deep. She wrapped her arms around his neck, aching to be closer to him. She loved the taste of him – even with the faint aroma of beer on his breath, she could still find something that was uniquely him.

Jim broke the kiss and his thumb ran over her kiss-swollen lips. "Sofie…"

She smiled and nodded at him. He stood up and took her hand, grasping it tightly. Sofia didn't hesitate as she followed him into his bedroom. She barely got a glance at the room when his lips were on hers again, his hands covering her ass and pushing her closer against him. Her arms wound around his neck, allowing him to take control of the kiss. The kiss was hot and passionate, and she found herself wanting more and more of him as her arousal intensified.

Jim groaned and held her closer, his hands cupping her butt and lifting her upwards. Sofia moaned and rubbed her body against his, aching for more of his touch.

The kiss never broke and she could feel his arousal intensifying against her thigh. She wanted him with an intensity that she couldn't remember feeling about any other man before – and while it aroused her, it also scared her a little. This was her supervisor. They were about to have sex in his bedroom…and dear god when he kissed her like that she felt like she was going to melt. 

"Sofia." He whispered her name with a lyricism that belied his arousal. He ached to feel her naked body writhing against his. He was terrified she was going to regret this in the morning – he had to give her another out. "Sofia. Are you sure?"

She took a gulp of air, her heart thudding in her chest. "Well, I didn't always expect us to end up like this for our first time, but do you hear me complaining?" Her hands cupped his face, and she stared intently at him. "Do you really think I'd be here, letting you touch me like this, if I didn't want this?"

A crooked grin appeared on his face. "You'd kick my ass."

"Damn straight." Her hands ran down his back, her tongue slipping out to moisten her lower lip. "Jim – kiss me again."

He complied and their lips met in a long, hot kiss. Sofia gasped into the kiss as she felt him walking her backwards towards the bed. She didn't really care where they were going, as long as he never stopped kissing her and touching her the way he was.

She felt her knees hit the bed and then her back was pressed against a soft mattress. She opened her eyes to look up at him and he smiled down at her.

His finger tenderly touched the side of her face, his heart full of love for this woman who backed his play and never let him retreat into himself. "Care to share what you thought our first time would be like?"

"I'd rather stick with this." Her hands trailed up his chest. "This is going pretty well so far."

Jim grinned at her and bent down to whisper in her ear, "I'd say this is going very well."

Their lips met again and Sofia moaned as he gathered her close to his body. His body was so warm and she bit her lip, wondering what it was going to feel like pressed intimately against her. With this in mind, her fingers trailed down to the bottom of his shirt and she slipped her hands beneath it. She palmed her hand across the soft skin of his stomach and watched as his eyes stared intensely at her. She'd never felt this much need, this much pull towards another human being before, and she leant up, kissing him before saying, "Undress. Now."

Jim stood up and slowly began to disrobe. His eyes were constantly on hers, wanting to take in every movement, every second of this experience. She was beautiful, the way she lay there before him, her eyes drinking in every second. He wanted to please her, more than anything, to make her feel so much. He wanted to watch as she was consumed by intense pleasure and he wanted to be the one to push her over that edge.

Sofia watched as Jim undressed and as soon as he was completely nude before her, she let her eyes roam across his form. He was not a classic beauty, but to her he was perfect. This was what she wanted and she wanted it now.

"Come back here," she murmured, reaching a hand for him.

A wicked grin crossed his features. "Not yet. Now it's your turn. Fair's fair."

Sofia smiled up at him. "You're right. Fair's fair." She stood up from the bed and started to unbutton her shirt. She quirked an eyebrow at him. "Aren't you going to help?"

Jim grinned and made his way over to where she was standing. His fingers closed over the top of hers and together they unbuttoned her shirt. She shrugged the shirt away and his fingers quickly unclasped her bra, letting it fall off her shoulders and onto the floor.

She looked up at him. "Touch me."

His finger traced a trail from her kiss-swollen lips down her neck. He tenderly kissed her pulse point, feeling her shiver under his touch. His hands finally trailed down her chest and he cupped her breasts in his hands. She traced her tongue over her lower lip, aching for him to stroke her, kiss her, do anything other than just standing and stare at her.

Jim grinned. He could tell that she was frustrated. Any possible intoxication he may have felt was completely gone – erased by the beautiful blonde in front of him, who was arousing him beyond belief.

Sofia's hand reached out and ran down his chest. "Stop thinking about it. Just do it."

Jim's thumbs ran across her nipples and he watched her breathing deepen. "You're beautiful, Sofie."

"You're just what I want," she whispered. 

He reached around to where her hair was held up in a ponytail. Smiling at her, he tenderly released her blonde hair from its confines, and watched as the tresses fell over her shoulders. His hands followed the path her hair had taken, and his fingers trailed down her arms.

"Lie down," he whispered to her.

* * *

  
They lay together for a moment, before Jim rolled onto his side. His arm went around Sofia's body and he held her tight to him, relieved when she didn't seem to mind. In fact she moved closer, entwining her body with his.

He placed a kiss to the top of her head and his hand slid up her back, tangling in her long, blonde hair for a moment, before letting his fingers trail down her spine. Sofia moaned slightly and moved closer.

"I can't take anymore. Let me rest…"

Jim chuckled. "That goes for me double." He became serious again, his hand touching her face and urging her to look at him. "Sofie…you know that…"

She placed a finger on his lips. She'd felt it, she knew it, but she knew neither of them were really ready to say it. "Shh, Jim. I know. Trust me, I know."

They shared a gentle kiss and Jim waited until she closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and watched her for a moment. 

His pain was easing.

FINIS


End file.
